That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
