i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
