dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
