From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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