Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
