Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
