You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
