Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
