She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
