She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
