you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
