Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
