this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
