Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
