did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize