So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
