Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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