i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
