I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
