ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
