She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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