she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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