So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
