I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
