If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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