I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
