Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
