I will die if light touches me.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
did you just send me my own nude
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
