I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
