so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
