I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
