In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
