I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
