Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think I died a long time ago.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
