i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
