I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
