i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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