this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
