Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
