I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
