NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
is it fun? or sober?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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