And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
