I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
