just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
