How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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