we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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