yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
