remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
