hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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