U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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