they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
